


it should've been me

by iamertrash



Series: fictober18 [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Fictober, M/M, Post-Civil War (Marvel), i dont know how to tag this sorry, i havent watched iw in ages so details are a bit fuzzy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 12:20:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16158878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamertrash/pseuds/iamertrash
Summary: fictober 2018 prompt 1- ''can you feel this?''





	it should've been me

**Author's Note:**

> i doubt ill be able to do this every day we will see

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Sam took a seat next to Rhodey’s bed, looking him in the eye.

 

‘’Not your fault.’’ Rhodey muttered.

 

‘’I should’ve taken that blast. It was intended for me.’’

 

Rhodey looked at Sam, who was now looking out of the window. His beard was growing out, and black hair now covered his chin and cheeks. His cheekbones were more prominent than before, and his cheeks were sunken in.

 

‘’It would’ve killed you. I can’t feel anything in my legs, but at least I’m alive.’’ the paralyzed man spoke, louder than before. Sam looked at him, a gentle frown across his lips.

 

‘’Second time where it shoulda been me.’’ he whispered, his voice cracking slightly, and Rhodey felt his stomach drop. His hand instinctively reached out from under his warm covers, taking Sam’s cold fingers in  his. They sat in silence for a while, Rhodey’s fingers swirling gently across Sam’s palm.

 

\---

 

Sam checked up on Rhodey periodically. His beard was longer every time, and he would always refuse to tell Rhodey where he came from and where he was going. He knew that Rogers and Romanoff were never far behind Sam, but he didn’t care to meet them. He was content with just Sam. More than content.

 

‘’Can you feel this?’’ Sam would ask, poking his leg, hope evident in his voice. Rhodey would always shake his head, and Sam’s smile would dim. Never again did Sam say it should’ve been him, but Rhodey knew he was thinking it. Rhodey never told anyone, but those visits gave him enough to want to continue, because frankly, physical therapy was hell. He never made any progress, at least he felt like it, and every appointment made him feel more hopeless than the last.

 

He didn’t know what Sam was doing with Rogers and Romanoff, but every second of every day he worried. He knew Sam was smart and knew what he was doing, and he fully trusted him, but he couldn’t help it.

 

Rhodey didn’t care easily, but when he did, he cared, he _cared_ with every fiber of his very being. When he first met Sam, he wasn’t sure about him, but then he would smile and crack one of his awful jokes that made everyone roll their eyes in amusement, and Rhodey was gone.

 

When Rhodey was the cause of that smile, he felt everything was right. Like how it should be.

 

Everyone wanted to be gentle around Rhodey, to not hurt him or make him uncomfortable, but Sam was the same as he always was, and that was comforting. After his injury people seemed like they were walking on eggshells, or diffusing a bomb that was about to go off. Sam didn’t give a shit.

 

\---

 

One year. One year, and no visit. Rhodey hadn’t heard anything. For all he knew, Sam could be dead. He might never find out. Worry was consuming his being, and if he didn’t hear anything soon, he was sure he’d go insane.

 

‘’I remember your signature on those papers, Colonel.’’ Secretary Ross spat.

 

Rhodey chuckled. ‘’That’s right. And I’m pretty sure I paid for that.’’

 

The Secretary looked like Rhodey had just threatened to kill his wife. As he opened his mouth to say something, his jaw dropped.

 

Rhodey turned around to see Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, Vision, and _Sam._ He felt his heart skip a beat.

 

‘’Arrest them, Colonel!’’ he heard a voice say, but it seemed far away. Sam looked in his eyes, and smiled gently. Rhodey felt a grin stretch over his face, for the first time in months. Without a word, he reached to hang up on Ross.

 

‘’That’s gonna get me a court martial.’’ he said, to no one in particular, but Sam laughed. And it was the greatest sound in the world.

 

\---

 

Rhodey stood on his balcony, looking out at the Wakandan sunset. The sun was just behind the trees, and the sky looked like a painting. Pink, orange and yellow danced across the sky as he felt the evening breeze cool his skin. He sighed. Tomorrow would be a day of fighting, which he never enjoyed.

 

‘’Hey, Colonel.’’ he heard a voice behind him. He turned around and was face to face with a grinning Sam. He smiled back, cocking his head to signal for Sam to stand beside him.

 

‘’How are you feeling?’’ Rhodey asked once he stood beside him.

 

‘’Fine. Been better, been worse.’’ Sam stated.

 

‘’Ready for tomorrow?’’

 

Sam sighed. ‘’Ready as I’ll ever be. You?’’

 

Rhodey shrugged. ‘’I never feel fully ready.’’

 

His companion nodded. They stood in silence, watching the light slowly fade away. At some point Sam must have grabbed his hand, but Rhodey did not remember it. Slowly Rhodey’s skin became cooler and he began shivering.

 

‘’Come inside.’’ Sam muttered, supporting Rhodey despite his fully functional legs. Rhodey did not object. They sat down on Rhodey’s bed, their legs mere inches from each other.

 

‘’Can you feel this?’’ Sam whispered.

 

‘’You’re not touching me.’’

 

‘’I know.’’

 

Suddenly, Rhodey grabbed Sam’s cheek and crashed his lips into his. He let out a surprised gasp but soon his hands cupped Rhodey’s cheeks, gently stroking circles. Their lips moved perfectly in unison, like a perfect symphony. Rhodey’s skin was on fire and ice cold at the same time. Feeling Sam pressed up against him was the best thing he’d felt in a long time.

 

Minutes later, when he pulled away, Sam grinned.

 

‘’Took you long enough.’’

 

\---

 

‘’Well done!’’ Sam yelled as Rhodey opened fire on the group of outriders beneath them. Rhodey shot him a smile as they aimed for another group a bit further away.

 

Looking down at the ground was pure chaos. Thanos’ outriders did everything they could to stop Rogers, the avengers and the Wakandan armies. What Thanos lacked in army intelligence, he made up for in numbers. There were thousands of them, and Rhodey didn’t see this ending any time soon.

 

‘’Careful!’’ he screamed at Sam, who was almost hit. He flew towards him, eyebrows furrowed with worry. ‘’Don’t do that.’’

 

‘’Got it.’’ Sam snorted, taking off once again. Rhodey shook his head, but followed.

 

An hour later, Rhodey and Sam saw everyone head towards the forest, so they followed suit. Upon entry, Rhodey blasted Thanos with all of his suit’s power to keep him from getting to the final stone, but nothing worked. Thanos simply threw him to the side, and he laid there for a few seconds before being picked up by Sam.

 

‘’Rhodey, can you hear me?’’ Sam yelled in his ear frantically. He pinched Rhodey’s thigh, which had been exposed for a while. ‘’Can you feel this?’’

 

Rhodey nodded, unable to say anything. He felt fine, almost. He wasn’t scared.

 

‘’Good, good.’’ he heard Sam breathe. ‘’Can you fly? We need to get out of here.’’

 

Rhodey responded by getting off the ground and up into the air, Sam close behind him. They circled the forest for a few minutes, looking for any members of their team. Sam flew quite a bit below Rhodey, ready to catch him if necessary.

 

Suddenly, Rhodey heard the screams increase. He looked around the forest, but there was no sign of anyone.

 

‘’Sam?’’ Rhodey asked, lowering his flight. No reply. He looked down, and Sam wasn’t there.

 

‘’Sam?’’ he said a bit louder this time, panic evident in his voice.

 

He flew slowly, scanning the ground for any signs of _his_ Sam. Nothing.

 

He came to a stop as he heard various voices, all sounding frantic. He looked in the eyes of Steve Rogers, who knelt on the ground, dust in his hands.

 

‘’What happened?’’ he asked, already knowing the answer. He bowed his head, placing his hand on his heart.

 

_Sam, can you feel this?_


End file.
